Getting to know me

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Hi everyone! I hope y’all have a great week! I thought I’d interduce myself a little more and kind of give a back story as to why I decided to start this blog. Also I wanted this blog to real and personal. I want to be able to connect with y’all and have this be a safe place to open up. No judgment from me.

I am 32 years old and have been married for 4 years now but have been with my husband since i was 18. Wow! It’s been a long time lol. It also took forever for him to propose! Anyway we have had our ups and downs just like anyone else…

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We were young and having the time of our lives’! We could go anywhere we wanted and do anything we wanted there was nothing holding us back. Ok maybe there was and that was a cat and of course money within reason. Also the cat wasn’t rally holding us back lol. She could really care less about us to be honest. As long as she had food and water she was great. We had jobs come and go and moved a couple times for different job positions and then my husband finally found i guess you’d say his forever job. While all that was going on i wanted more! Meaning i wanted us to finally settle down and have a family. I had been off bith control for quite some time now and nothing had happened. It would be years before i finally became a mom… Before one of our moves i had found out i was pregnant I was so excited and nervous at the same time. My husband was in shock! We currently rented a one bedroom apartment that was more for a college student… So I knew he was stressing and he was a manager that worked crazy hours.

So made an appointment to have blood work done to confirm and set up other appointments. We told everyone and were so excited. A week or so goes by and I start bleeding… I call the doctors and have to go back to check my hcg levels. I get that dreaded call that no expecting mother wants to hear…. “I am sorry but your levels aren’t doubling like they are such too. It looks like you are miscarring.” Hung up the phone and just cried and cried and cried. I was so confused, mad, and upset! I didn’t understand why or how this could happen to me… On top of that a few months later I end up getting let go from my job. So I guess you could say everything happens for a reason…

Then shortly after that my husband was offered a job promotion. So we ended up moving back to Topeka, ks. He worked as a co manager for awhile but he was always gone, he had to be you know the boss calls you gotta go… It was really stressful for the both of us. He kept at it for awhile and we just tried to be there for each other. My husband ended up having to have emergency gull bladder surgery (which ended up being a blessing in disguise). His boss wanted to know when he’d be back. Like seriously who asks that?!? He had just had his gull bladder removed and you want to know how soon he’ll be back?? So while he was out he was looking at different jobs options since his current job was just becoming too much… It was taking a toll on his health and our relationship (to a point. I already kinda knew what to expect since we had both worked for the same company for quite some time( different story for a different day😉).

He found a job and went for it! Got hired and started as soon as he was able too. It was seriously the best decision he made!! His now current boss is the best! Treats us like family and always asks how things are going. While all this was going on I found a new job. Actually two… I started out at a call center and worked there for awhile. I was not a fan of it lol, but it was a job. Then took I on a second full time job. I was a sales vendor I went around at a certain store and stocked things, checked inventory, set up displays, and what not. It was fun for awhile but eventually got to be to much. I was going all over the place. I ended up quitting the call center job and making the vendoring my main job. I kept at it for awhile.

***Trigger Warning Ahead ***

We finally got married and bought a house of our own. Shortly after we moved to our new house I found out I was pregnant again! I was so happy this time!! Life had finally came together, it was falling into place!! This time we only told a couple of people. Went through all the blood work again. Then about a week later it was all over again… At this point I was so devastated! All the emotions came flooding back again! I talked to the doctor and there was no guarantee that this wouldn’t happen again. So my husband and I decide maybe we just weren’t ment to have kids. I mean I hadn’t been on birth control since 2014 and it was now 2017 and had miscarriages. So we decided that I’d go back on birth control.

My sister was currently pregnant and I was helping throw her a baby shower. It came the day of her baby shower and I had realized I was a week late for my period!! I was telling me friend about it and was like maybe it’s just because I’ve been so stressed?? She was like pick up a test and stop by my house. I was like ok but it’s gonna be negative. Get one and go to her house and take it. She comes out and was like it’s positive!! Now at this point I should be so excited, but I couldn’t be. I was so scared and all I could think about was the last two times… So we come to my house and my friends daughter takes it to my husband and he thinks it’s hers lol. She’s like ” that ain’t mine!”😂. He looks at me. I’m like “yep”.

Come back tomorrow for the rest of the story.